Looking forward

It’s been too long since I’ve posted and I find the more disconnected I become from hobbies, journaling, and recovery the more I struggle with finding beauty and peace around and within me.  Changes in work have led to busy days and a teething daughter has led to many sleepless nights.

I’ve worked on a few projects lately; still trying to finish up the sunflower baby hat for a friend (I’ll get some photos up with the patter when I finish).  I also found a few creative ideas online and decided to attempt to recreate them without the pattern.  It is a basic women’s beanie hat in a half double crochet.  Once I finished the hat I took a tapestry needle and the same color yarn and wove it on the inside and pulled tight to create a strip of bunching from the top of the hat to the bottom on just one side.  It looked really cute and trendy with the gathering on the side.  I planned to add a fun button to accessorize it, but just as I thought I was finished……I tried it on and it was wayyyyyyy toooooo big!!  I swear hats, but be the trickiest things to get to fit appropriately…too small…too big….needless to say I won’t be posting pictures of myself in the new hat since it is so big it looks like a giant turban:(

It is the week of my birthday and three years ago on my birthday I started the diet that ultimately led to my disordered eating and negative relationship with food.  It becomes easy to avoid this time of year as it has generally been the measure of progress in one form or another.  It is also easy to feel disappointment and regret over what happened, but this year I plan to make the genuine effort to let that time be what it was and enjoy this birthday for what it is: my first as a mom, a time for renewal, a celebration of the joy in my life, and the opportunity to just be right where I am.

I’ll leave you with a photo that my husband took a few weekends ago of me and my daughter…she truly is the brightest spot of my hear!

A quick dessert for a busy lady….

So the past week has flown by and I’ve had little time to reflect on the changes that are coming.  I said goodbye to my co-workers at the correctional facility and my heart broke a little; so many of the people have become my family over the past six years and the residents, although emotionally draining, provided me with welcomed challenges.

Now it’s one more day off and then the new journey will begin.  I am nervous for the change, knowing full well that it will be best for me in the long run…it’s the short run that worries me a bit.  Hopefully a few days under my belt will help and a little shopping trip for new clothes tomorrow might be fun too!

Tonight I decided I wanted something sweet, but didn’t have time between cooking dinner and taking care of my teething daughter to have a huge production…..microwave cake it is!!!  It tastes just like the real oven made kind, but it’s fast and I mean one bowl and six minutes fast!

 

Vegan Chocolate Microwave Cake

Combine:

1 1/2 cups flour (I used whole wheat)

1 cup sugar (can sub any sweetener here, just reduce liquids)

3 TBSP cocoa powder

1 tsp salt

1 cup cold water

1/3 cup oil (I used applesauce instead)

1 tsp vanilla

Pour into greased 8×8 glass baking dish and microwave for 6-8 minutes on high

 

Frosting:

1/2 cup cocoa powder

1/2 cup honey/agave/maple syrup

1/3 cup non dairy butter

1/2 tsp vanilla

mix until creamy

 

There it is, super easy, super yummy, and super fast!!  My husband got all artsy with the photos and was taking about a million while I was waiting to eat my cake!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As for other projects, I’ve been crochet tons of things lately, hoping to have more time to get a post up with some photos of recent projects soon!

So many changes

The past two weeks have been filled with change for myself and my family.  I will be spending my final week at my current job and have accepted a new position within the department, but there will be a new office across town, a new boss, and lots of different job duties.  I’m scared and excited all at once.  I like structure and consistency so this will be a struggle in the beginning, but I’m hoping it will be a good change and will allow for more career advancement down the line.

We learned this week that my daughter will need to move daycare; we are very sad.  Right now she is with my sister-in-law and their family will be moving at some point so the hunt is on for us to find something different.  Wow….there is some shady places out there!!!!  I’m hitting another center tomorrow after work…keeping our fingers crossed on this one.

My husband helped me to get a website together for all of my crochet crafts; it was a lot of contemplation on my part in really putting it out there for people to buy these things, but some family and friends finally convinced me.  It’s been almost a week and I’ve had five orders….more than enough to keep me busy at this point.

With all of the change, both good and bad, I find more anxiety about everything…it’s just who I am.  Some close loved ones recently found out about my eating disorder; I was so ashamed of my own shortcomings that I never felt I could tell them about it.  It’s a relief to have them know and have insight into my life, but it continues to be a battle for me to fully accept that this is part of me and this will always be a part of me.  I used to think that I would give anything to go back in time and erase anorexia from my past, sometimes I still think that way, but slowly I’m growing and recognizing that experiencing this eating disorder has taught me things and will continue to teach me about life and love and letting go.

 

I’m hoping to get another post up this week with some of my most recent projects, but here are a few pics of my daughter in some of the hats that I’ve made….my husband does the photography….he’s awesome, but I’m a little partial!!

What a week

Motherhood is always bringing me surprises.  Just when I think I have it figured out and we are into a good routine it changes with no warning…teething…growth spurt.  We might be getting to the end of the six month growth spurt this week; it’s been up all night for most of this week and last week, but last night she slept for six hours….hopefully tonight is more of the same.  We also started trying some 1st foods this week; bananas mixed with her rice cereal…this weekend might have sweet potatoes in store for her!

I find that some days with working full time and managing the house, any free time that I have is quickly eaten up by things I “should” get done, the perfectionist in me struggles to let things be and allow myself to relax.  I find these traits also tied right in with my eating disorder; the constant search for perfection or at least what I thought was perfection.  My days were filled with “good” and “bad” depending on calories and consumption; as much as I push against these ideas in recovery it is still a struggle to let things go and be what they are.  Lately I’ve been trying to focus more on these aspects in my recovery…take the focus off the measuring and judging and keep the focus on letting myself and things around me to be what they are and enjoy what life has for me right now.

For projects this week I finished a scarf for a friends daughter, made another quick cowl, and started on another pattern for an infinity cowl.  Here are a few pics of the finished projects.

  The scarf was a simple chunky yarn in a double   crochet, choose your length and then complete 4-5 rows depending on the width that you like.

 

 

 

 

 

   Another cowl for a co-worker.  Click here to check out the Chunky Cowl Pattern

Chunky yarn baby hat with flower

Yet another quick project inspired by my daughter.  I was looking online for some 6 month photo shoot information and poses when I stumbled across a cute looking hat with a big flower.  I figured I could come up with something close and we might be able to use it for her six month pictures that my husband plans to take.  Here are some photos of the hat and the basic pattern that I used.

Hat:

chain five and join with slip stitch

Row 1:  5 double crochets into center, join with slip stitch

Row 2: chain 2 and 1 double crochet in same stitch, 2 double crochets in each around (10 total) join with slip stitch

Row 3: chain 2 and 1 double crochet in same stitch, 2 double crochets in each around ( 20 total) join with slip stitch

Row 4:  chain 2, *1 double crochet in next 2 stitches then 2 double crochets in next stitch* repeat and join with slip stitch

Row 5 – end: 1 double crochet in each around

Continue working rows until desired length; the sample I made had 7 rows total and would fit a baby between 3-9 months (my daughter is six months and she will have room to grow in this hat, but she was born quite small, so most other babies might be able to fit into this at a younger age)

Flower:

chain 78

double crochet into 3rd chain from hook

double crochet 75 stitches and turn

*5 half double crochet in next stitch, skip next stitch, 5 treble crochets in next, skip next* repeat until end

Roll to form rose and attach hat

A note on the flower:  I used this exact pattern, but for future hats I would make the rose smaller…seems too big for the hat itself (I find this is a process of trial and error with these baby hats…getting things in proportion is tricky).  In the future I would chain 58, then 55 double crochets across…this might help cut the size down a bit.

 

Elaida in her new hat!!

Chocolate Oat Balls…vegan and yummy!

I had the day off today and did a little shopping with my daughter.  We managed to make it home and I got a few things done around the house while she finally slept for a bit this afternoon.  I whipped up a batch of no bake oat cookie/balls and even managed to get the photos taken..sorry they aren’t so great…got a phone call in the middle of the photo shoot!!!

Vegan Chocolate Oat Balls

1/2 cup vegan margarine (I use the smart balance spread)

1/2 cup sweetener of choice

3 TBS cocoa or carob powder

1 1/2 cups oats or more until thick enough consistency

coconut and or sugar for rolling

Melt butter and mix all ingredients together, roll into balls, roll in coating of choice, store in fridge.  You could use 1/4 cup butter and 1/4 cup peanut butter if you’d like or even add some peppermint extract for a little extra flavor.

Delicious and simple…enjoy!

 

Quick Cowls for Everyone….

So for the holiday I decided to give handmade gifts to my co-workers; I lucked out that they are all women who enjoy fun accessories.  I found the Lion Brand Super Bulky yarn in tons of colors and decided that instead of scarfs I would opt for cowls.  They take just over an hour to make and they are the warmest fashion accessory a gal can find!  Here is the pattern, you can modify it to make it larger or even make it longer in order to wrap it twice around like an infinity cowl.  Again, this is pretty versatile and easy otherwise I wouldn’t be making them.

You’ll need two skeins of super bulky yarn and a size  9 hook

I use a cluster stitch where you yarn over and pull through and then yarn over and pull thru and then pull through all five loops at once.  You could also use a half double crochet or double crochet for the cowls, whichever you prefer.

Chain 26

Row 1: cluster into the 3rd chain from hook, chain 1, *skip 1, cluster, chain 1* until the end of the row.  You should end up with 12 clusters across

Row 2 until end: cluster in the opening between clusters in the previous row with a chain after each cluster

Finishing:  finish off at the end of a row leaving a tail, take the two ends of the cowl and stitch them together.  On several cowls I created a twist in the middle by flipping one end inward and sewing it with a twist, this gives it a little something extra and helps it to lay nicely.  You can adorn them with big buttons or crochet flowers too!

This week I finished a few other projects for my niece and nephew.  I’ll get them posted soon.  Next week’s projects consist of a different pattern cowl, a scarf for a co-workers daughter, and a flower hat for my daughter.  Tomorrow I’m hoping to make some vegan oatmeal cookies…..perhaps a post for those as well.

Billed hat pattern and a check in..

So the start of the week is over.  I didn’t have much time over the weekend to get to much of anything except work on a few crochet projects.  I found a pattern for a cute trendy women’s hat and ended up making two and have a lengthy list of co-workers willing to buy them.

My daughter Elaida must be going through another growth spurt; the nights are a blur and all seem to run together..she was up several times last night and my own difficulties falling back asleep seem to make things even worse…twenty minutes of soothing her ends up being an hour long process before I fall back to sleep.  Everyone says that things will get better and better as she gets older…geez I hope so!!

I was able to get home and get a little yoga in before dinner tonight; felt nice to sit quietly without anyone else in the house.  This seems to be a rarity these days, but I’ll take anytime I can get.

Here is the basic pattern that I found on the internet and made a few modifications.

Any worsted weight yarn and a 6mm hook will work, I used two strands of yarn in order to get a thicker, more structured hat, but a single strand will do the trick.

Row 1: ch 4, 11 dc in 4th ch from hook join in 4th ch. (12 dc)
Row 2: 2 dc in every dc. (24 dc)
Row 3: *2dc in 1, dc in next* rep to end. (36 dc)
Row 4: *dc in 2, 2 dc in next* rep to end (48 dc)
Row 5: * dc in 4 , 2dc in next* rep to end (58 dc) This will not work out evenly but the stitch count is correct.
Row 6: * dc in 1, Spike dc in row below* repeat to end. (29 dc, 29 Spike dc. Please note that you can skip the fancy stitches and just work evenly in dc if you prefer.
Row 7: dc evenly around. (58 dc)
Rows 8-11: hdc evenly around.

Break off and tidy ends.

Mark out 15 stitches at the ‘front’ of your cap for the brim.   Attach yarn in first of selected sts…

B/row 1: 2 FPhdc in 1, FPhdc in 3, FPsc in 7, FPhdc in 3, 2FPhdc in last. (17 sts)
B/row 2: hdc in 4, sc in 9, hdc in 4.
B/row 3: sc evenly across
B/row 4-5: sc in 1st sc dec, sc to last 3 sts, sc dec, sc in last.

Work a row of single crochet down the side of brim rows, around hat and up and across the rest of the brim stitches. Break off and tidy all ends.

I found the pattern here:  http://www.crochetville.org

Getting Started

  I generally have viewed exercise in the past as a format to burn calories and not much more.  After getting into recovery I’ve had a little patience with myself and allowed my self to choose when I exercise and what I will do.  I have had periods of a few weeks where I haven’t engaged in any activities and lately have found myself a little short on time.  My hope is to now find something that I do enjoy and engage in them when I choose and not for the benefit of calorie burn, but rather for my own emotional well being and physical health.  I’d like to spend more time focusing on how my body moves, how it feels, and the effects on my mood.

I’ve always enjoyed yoga, but at times in the past never felt it was “a good enough workout”.  With my new expectations, yoga might be a great fit, gentle, mindful, and calm.  I did a little looking on the internet and found a great website with pretty cheap videos that can be streamed on the computer or ipad.  I will definitely doing some additional exploring, but for now this is good place to start.  I have a few videos at home and am hopeful to engage in some activity a few days per week when my schedule allows.

Here is the link for the website, let me know if you all have other resources online that are helpful!

http://www.myyogaonline.com

Hootie Hoo Owl Hat Pattern

So after having my daughter I’ve seen so many photos of cute children’s hats.  I don’t consider myself an expert crocheter by any means; a novice really and I have taught myself mostly through videos and tutorials on the internet.  I always thought these patterns would be too time consuming and difficult so I never bothered much with them.  Recently I decided it might be worth a shot.  I found two patterns through the best free pattern website: http://www.crochetpatterncentral.com.  I combined the two patterns and came up with something in the middle.  Again, this is something fairly simple otherwise I wouldn’t have any part of it!!!

Square Hat:  create chain of desired length, join ends with slip stitch, continue in rounds until desired height, then single crochet across the top to close off, you can add a few extra stitches for the corners to make them more noticeable if you’d like.

Round Hat:  create hat of desired size by making a chain and crocheting into the first chain, join and continue increasing stitches until desired size.  Any basic hat pattern will work here.

Earflaps:  Find center on side count five to seven stitches towards the back of hat (depends on how large you want your earflaps…larger hat=larger flaps).  Join yarn to stitch, chain 2 and double crochet 10-15 stitches (or half double crochet, whatever stitch you did the hat in).  At the end of the row turn the hat, chain 2 and then crochet back across the earflap with the same number of stitches as the first row (first two rows will be the same).  For the following rows you decrease the flap by one stich per row.  Reduce at the beginning of the row by skipping the chain 2.  Continue until you have one stitch left and pull the yarn through the loop to tie off.  Repeat for the other earflap on the opposite side of the hat.

Single crochet around entire bottom of hat with contrasting yarn.

Eyes: Chain 3
Round 1:  10 double crochets into the third chain from the hook.  Slip stitch to the first double crochet not the chain 2.
Round 2:  Chain 1, half double crochet into the same stitch, then 2 half double crochets in each stitch around
Round 3:  Chain 1, *1 half double crochet into the next stitch, 2 half double crochets in the next stitch* and repeat this pattern of 1 then 2 around.  Fasten off and sew a button in center of each eye.

Beak:  Chain 6.  1 single crochet into the second chain from the hook to the end of the row.  Turn, repeat until you have one stitch left (don’t chain at the end of the row and this will decrease your stitches).  To finish beak single crochet around the entire thing.

Ear tassels:  cut 6-8 strips of yarn to 6 inches in length.  Using crochet hook thread them through the top corner and tie them off/together and trim to desire length.

Braids:  cut 18 strips of yarn (9 for each side) to 25-30 inches in length.  Fold each bunch of nine in half and push through the end opening of the earflap.  Pull the unfolded ends through the loop and pull tight.  Braid strands and tie in knot at end.

Separate Ears if doing a round hat:
Chain 2.  Round 1:  work 5 single crochets into the second chain from the hook.  Round 2:  2 single crochets into each stitch (10)  Round 3:  single crochet in each stitch around….repeat row three for rows 4-8.  Fasten off, attach tassels and sew on hat.

This is the version with separate ears on the round hat

Here are the two patterns that I used to create the hats and the links to the original patterns if you’d like to reference them.  Happy hatting!!

http://daisycottagedesigns.blogspot.com/2011/07/free-owl-hat-crochet-pattern.html

http://www.slugsontherefrigerator.com/home/2011/10/owl-hat-pattern.html